be the baby

Somewhere along the way, Lucy and I have created a game. It's called "be the baby."

For those of you familiar with Chinese adoptions, you've probably heard of the children's book, I Love You Like Crazy Cakes. It's the story of a mother going to China and bringing home her new daughter. Lucy loves for me to read this book to her. I know she doesn't really get it all, but she knows there's something special about it. And I do believe she connects with it.

One page in particular shows the new mommy holding her little girl in her arms, just like a baby. Another page shows her kissing her new daughter's hand as she lays her down in a crib in the hotel room.

I don't know when it first happened, but one day Lucy ended up in my arms,wanting to mimick this book, combining these two pages. And we've done it umpteen times since, at least once a day. It can happen anytime. She'll say "Bebe?" and scurry off to get her closest sippy cup. She comes running back, and I know what it means. We're about to play "be the baby."

She has me hold her just like the mama in the book, I "bottle" feed her with her sippy cup, she looks into my eyes and waits for me to say:

Me: "Are you mama's baby?"
Lucy: "Uh huh." (eyes lit up, little head nodding)

Me:  "Will you always be my baby?"
Lucy: "Uh huh." (eyes still lit, little head nodding)
*any type of "yes" around here is unusual as she is loving to hear herself say "no" these days :)
Me: "Can I kiss your hand?"
Lucy: hand raises to my lips, just like the baby in the book

And we just look at each other for as long as she lets it go on. It's happened in restaurants, at the dinner table, while I'm looking at a magazine, whenever. And I love it. We love it. Andy loves to catch us in action, and under his breath, I hear him say "Wow!"

I know a lot of kids like to pretend to "be the baby," and it's normal for this age. But I really believe Lucy is letting me, wanting me, to fill in some gaps from her infancy during this time. Everything we've read by the "experts" encourages us to go back to baby stages with our adopted child, as it helps them with healing, bonding, attachment, etc.

Bonding has actually come surprisingly quickly with Lucy, as she naturally craves affection and has let us be so close to her from day one. But the fact remains that we weren't there on Day 1. Her Day 1.

So I'm happy to go back there with her and let her "be the baby." We'll stay as long as she wants, and I'll treasure every moment.